Not With You
by prowess
Summary: Chap2 up! Harry and Hermione are in a fight, one of the few they've had. But it looks like there's no resolution this time...
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Well, hello again! I'm here uploading yet another fic, though it's test week, I just had to write it or  else I'll forget it with all the memorizing I have to do. I don't think that this little piece of information would still be tucked in my brain after all that. So, this is a semi-angsty fic. If you don't know, I love angst fics, and I 'm trying to make as many as possible. My first angst fic is "Not Yet Forgotten" (I know the title isn't original, but I thought of that while writing it. I'm thinking of changing it though, any suggestions?) and this is my second. I hope you like it and I hope you tell me what you think about it, via review or email, silver_prowess@yahoo.com. I appreciate those who reviewed via email! Thanks so much. I didn't know I'd accept comments through that. Anyways, oh, yeah, I updated What's Held Within already, up to the fifth chapter, those who wanted it posted, please check it out. What else? Yeah, more fics I have to finish before two days from now, watch out for them. Why is it that when I'm so harassed, that's when all ideas pop into my head, but when I'm free to do anything, nothing is in birds chirping in the background. Oh well, so much for talk. Now prepare your eyes: massage them, rub them, take the cucumber off, I don't know if it's going to make you cry, I think not. It's a little bit crappy, probably. There, eyes ready? Here it goes….

Not With You

By prowess

            Nobody in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry could ever name Harry Potter without another name not far behind: Hermione Granger. Yes, the two have surpassed acquaintance, surpassed friendship. But just how much can they surpass?

            "It was all a lie. I see now, and you don't have to cover for it. My eyes have been opened to what has been happening and you can't close them!" Hermione had answered back. Their fight has been heating up and luckily, no one was really around to watch them. Everybody else was in Hogsmeade. 

            "Well, I could've told you if you weren't too busy for me," Harry reasoned. 

            "No, no. Don't you use my love for reading as an excuse for what you did. And how dare you ask that question, as if you had time for ME?" She screamed. "If that's the case, we are even on that. But that isn't a reason for backstabbing me. Is this some joke? Does the whole school know about this?" 

            "No they don't," Harry answered coldly.

            "Well, they probably do. For one thing, that concubine of yours could've gossiped it to her other girlfriends showing off they've went out with Harry Potter." Hermione harshly shot back. They were in the Common Area, fighting in front of the fireplace, a little too appropriate setting for their situation. 

            "How dare you call her that?!?"

            "How dare you hide it from me? How dare you pass these letters to everyone without my knowledge? Just for the mere reason of my lack of time for you? How unreasonable!" 

            "It's not just that—"

            "Then, what else!?!" 

            "You are—"

            "No. don't answer that. You know what pains me about this? It hurts me that you wrote this without me knowing, look at this! RUBBISH! I'll read one: Dear Cho, It has been three weeks since our last talk and I have missed those wonderful moments we've spent, your beautiful eyes, the way you smile, bla, bla….I could almost feel you lips touching mine? Are you sick?"

            "Well maybe I am sick! I'm sick of listening to this! I'm sick of hearing you ranting like I'm the one who caused all this. Don't you see that you did too?"

            "Maybe you are sick! And I was sick as well because I gave myself to you! I loved you, more than you ever thought. I try to make time for you. But you were just too selfish. You wanted me to be there while you eat, while you walk through the corridors, you flaunt our relationship. That's not a relationship Harry. You never knew the many sacrifices I have made for you. You don't know I sacrificed eating just to watch your game and be there to hug you when you won, just like what you wanted. You don't know how I sacrificed sleeping just to get my homework done while during the day I was with you at Hogsmeade. You don't know how I sacrificed helping others just to be with you on time. You want the whole universe to know that you have me, and you boasted me as if I was some new toy. Well, you know what? I'm sick of it as well! So why don't we just end it?" 

The sound of the wood was all that was heard. Silence filled the area as Hermione, who was now crying from what she has just said sat on the sofa. Harry was brushing his hair back as he stared at the floor. 

"You know what hurts me? It hurts me that, I'm the one who's wrong. It hurts me that you accuse me, after all the sacrifices I've done for you. Could you name any you've done for me?"

Harry couldn't answer.

"It hurts me that you're the one with the nerve to get angry at me all the time, and I'm the one who patches things up, and now that I've seen you do something wrong, you still find a way to throw it back at me.  I've swallowed my pride, Harry. And I've swallowed it long enough. Do you really think that I wanted this? This issue? Do you really think I didn't care about you? Do you really think I deserve this again? It's that I don't know what to do anymore. It's come to the point that I have to choose between you and my ambition, my studies, my dream to be a great witch."

"So you choose your studies over me?" Harry silently asked. 

"Based from what is happening, I've got no choice. I'm sorry, for both of us. I'm sorry for the times I've been selfish, like what you said, to have no time for you. I'm sorry for what is happening to us. I'm sorry I wasn't how you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I didn't fulfill your expectations. " Hermione's tears were flowing, her heart beating achingly, she was trying to finish what she wanted to say. "I'm sorry it's all over."

"No-" Harry cried. He went in front of Hermione and held her on the shoulder. Hermione looked down immediately, but she saw that Harry was in tears as well. Waves of tears seemed to fall from their eyes. 

"No it's not over." He cried. "Then, then I'm sorry as well. I'm sorry for all I've done wrong. All my bad doings. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for betraying you." Hermione was shaking her head sideways, furiously, showing she disapproved. 

"Hermione, please," Hermione looked away from him, tears spilling, more than ever. "It's over," she repeated, " I wish it wasn't over, but it's over. You can't change it."

"It's not over!" Harry shook her. Hermione still looked away. "Then tell me you don't love me anymore. Tell me all of our moments together were meaningless. Tell me that everything was just a dream! Tell me-"

"I don't love you!" she shot back. Hermione looked at Harry's eyes. Emerald green eyes she once adored, and he the same to her. Those same eyes are now throwing hatred at each other. Harry couldn't believe what she just uttered. His heart skipped a beat. His hands loosened their grip and they were numb. Hermione didn't take her eyes away from him. She was glaring at him, and he could see there was no regret in what she said. 

'So it's a waste of time then," he presumed. 

"Maybe it is."

 "Why was it so easy for you?" Harry cried. "Why was it so easy to deny everything you once said you' d treasure in your heart? Why was it so easy for you to leave me?"

"Because I was treasuring a lie, Harry! I was living a lie with you." Hermione replied, wanting enough of this.  She sat up and wiped her eyes. Harry blocked her.

"You should be going. People will arrive soon. You won't want them to know what happened to us." Hermione said coldly, emotionlessly. 

"No, Hermione. Please. Tell me. Tell me what you feel for me. Please." Hermione didn't answer and walked on.

"Are you still in love?" 

As she heard this, it was as if a xylophone was playing in her mind, playing a soft sad song in her head. She stopped and turned around. Hermione's puffy eyes looked at his once more, searching for the hope to say what she felt. His eyes were full of regret. Looking down she didn't know what to say. She looked at him once more as tears welled up in her eyes. She bit her lip as she prevented to cry. 

"Yes," she whispered. Harry came to hug her, but she stepped back.

"but…" she started.

"Not with you…" Hermione whispered her last words as she hurried up to the girls dormitory.

 Harry was left there, trying to absorb all he heard. He felt like his heart was a sheet of glass that he thought was in good hands when it suddenly exploded into tiny pieces. He felt his heart shatter, and in his mind, he could hear the tinkling of the glass falling. He stared at where Hermione went and kneeled down regretting all he lost. Finally, the truth dawned to him. It was over, inspite of both of them not wanting it to be. 

To be continued….

A/N: Well, how was it? It's crap you might say. But I'm thinking of a continuation, whether it will be angsty or not, it depends on you and what you think. Couple of unanswered questions: Hermione said she was still in love, but not with Harry. Then who could the person be? Not someone you expected, I'm very sure you won't guess. What happens afterwards? What if they met once more, in the hallway or what? Poor Harry, well it's his fault, but do you want me to leave it like that?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm back! It was quite a while before I had to update but anyways, here I am once again in another fun-filled update mania. I'm hoping to upload a lot of chapters in all my stories. I'm sorry to those who were waiting (if there were any) but I have a very crazy schedule now that I don't even have time to watch a commercial. Anyways, this is the first part I will be uploading. I think for this particular story, I'd change it from angst to drama because it really wasn't that sad, unlike Not yet Forgotten. In line with all this update mania stuff, I would like to give time and credit all the ones who took the time to read this stuff. I hope that these guys would continue to review this story and my other stories as well. Thanks so much. Credits will be at the bottom of the fic, now don't go zooming down and checking your name there, read the story first. If you find your name there, then I would like to thank you very much. There. Also, I did plan a second chapter for Not Yet Forgotten, and I am still thinking of a different title. Please give suggestions. Thanks a lot once more. After these sentences the fic will start now.

CHAPTER 2: Thinking Deeply

Harry stared at the sky then at the curtains of his four-poster bed. Memories of the harsh and painful incident had been recurring in his mind, enough to make him want to scream. But he didn't. He couldn't. No one should know about it. He might not be certain about a lot of things concerning his and Hermione's broken relationship, but he knew one thing: Hermione wouldn't tell anyone about "it". And so would he. But he still couldn't imagine how things have come to take place. His arms folded, he started to wonder what he could've done to change everything. _Maybe if I did this, or maybe if I told her this… _But he knew nothing mattered anymore. It was over. Hermione told him so. _Over,_ he repeated. _Over. _He wondered how a short simple word can crush his heart. It echoed in his head, along with Hermione's sobbing, his shouts, the flickering sound of the fire. Hermione was right. He was selfish. He flaunted their relationship. He didn't care about her sacrifices. He was an idiot. He was a big, nasty git. Harry sighed and turned sideward. He now faced Ron, who was sleeping soundly, an empty chocolate wrapper clenched in his fists. _He must've had a wonderful day, definitely the opposite of mine_, he thought.  He can't sleep that night, and he didn't realize that on the same night, staring at the same sky, a young woman was also thinking. 

            She was sitting up, her head resting on her knees, as she looked at the starless blanket of the night. _I wish he would come back_, she thought. She can never forget what he asked her in the last few moments of their conversation. _Are you still in love?_ Her eyes were very puffy, she still sobbed even after the whole incident. She did pretend to sleep when the other girls came, but she think she didn't do a very good job. Besides, they won't be oblivious for a long time. They will soon find out about it. But it won't come from her. She dried her eyes once more with her shaky hands. She did try to sleep and forget about the whole thing, but realized that it won't work and never will. She sat there until the part of her brain not thinking about Harry mentally told her it was time to get up and take a bath. 

            "Morning chap," Ron yawned as he wiped his mouth, which had chocolate smudges from the treat he ate last night. Harry just nodded. As Ron did his early stretching, Harry got up and took some new clothes. 

            "Hey guys, better get ready. Snape's cheating on us as usual and is planning to give us a surprise quiz. Of course he did tell the Slytherins. The supposed quizzes start from the fifth until the tenth chapter of Potionmaking: The Guide. There would also be questions from last weeks potion." A disappointed Seamus announced. Everyone groaned and mumbled.

            "And who is the chattering chipmunk who blabbered all of that?" Hermione questioned Lavender. 

            "Seamus said Malfoy told him, along with the usual insult and remarks." Hermione's jaw opened wide. 

            "If it was a trick, do I get to hammer them to the ceiling?" Parvati exclaimed. 

            "It's not about tricks. We must be prepared either way. But five chapters is quite long. Luckily I have been interested in chapters seven to twelve so I wouldn't have a problem with the last few parts. But chapter five is quite difficult too. It does involve DADA, so there is a lot of information.." Hermione was already deciding on the strategy she would use much to the irritation of the rest. 

            "Aaah! This surprise quiz that we know but weren't supposed to is racking my brain." Ron muttered his hands on his head. 

            "And I don't understand chapters seven to ten. I cannot believe this," Harry added.

            "Why don't you ask Hermione then? It's just as simple as eating."  As Hermione's name was mentioned, Harry went blank. Memories came invading his brain once more. Everyone had books in their laps during breakfast, already studying for fear of failing. _Surprise quizzes come along with graded recitation. Hit or miss. Either you get it right or not. Making a mistake means a failing potions grade_…Draco's mischievous voice echoed in Harry's mind. He can't believe this is being put upon them. But then again nothing was as heavy as…

            Blog!

            Harry's book fell on the floor. This stunned him and made him come back to his senses. 

            "Harry, is something wrong with Hermione? She doesn't seem to be anywhere near us, I mean not like before." Ron had retorted. 

            "Maybe she just has a lot to do." Harry answered. _Maybe Ron's suggestion was a great idea. Ask Hermione about Potions. Then I'll have a logical reason for talking to her!_ It was as if a light bulb emerged beside Harry's head as his face smiled at his "brilliant" idea. 

            "Maybe I'll just ask Hermione about the chapters. You're right Ron." By doing that, no one will be suspicious. 

            "I wish Harry won't ask me anything and make studying with me an excuse for talking to me." Hermione hopefully told herself. Much to her dismay, Harry was walking toward her. Hermione had this worried look on her face as Harry stopped in front of her.

            "Hermione I know that this isn't a good time for me to talk to you but I really can't go to anyone else. Well, I really have big problems in studying for this surprise quiz thing and in other subjects as well and you know, well, I was wondering if you could help me, you know. Please?" Hermione gulped as she clutched her Potionmaking: The Guide tightly as her sweaty palms prevented her from keeping a good grip. She had no idea what her answer would be.

            _If I say yes, Harry will think that it's all okay with me. But if I tell him no.._ Hermione reasoned to herself. 

            Hermione took a very deep breath. "Here's what Harry," she started without looking up at him. 

            "Look at me Herm," Harry commented and Hermione's eyes widened. "I mean, talk to me…sincerely."

            "Fine, there. Harry, I would gladly accept tutoring you, under certain conditions of course. Number one, we meet in the library, nowhere else. Number two, we meet no longer than an hour per day. Finally, I would like for you not to ask any questions UNrelated to the topic I will discuss to you about. Deal?" Hermione extended her hand. Now it was Harry's turn to gulp, understanding that his "brilliant" idea wasn't that brilliant at all. But he had to deal with it otherwise Hermione would know that he was just doing this to get back together again. He extended his hand as well and shook her hand. He didn't really know, but he thought a small smile formed in Hermione's lips during the handshaking. Well, I think that Professor Lupin will be out for a moment and he has luckily given us the time to be in the library and search for our respective group reportings. We can start there. How fortunate for us as well to have DADA before Potions. Harry smiled faintly. 

            "Well, the Brumsbirk bush is really a big plant that can gobble things as big as a sheep when irritated. It doesn't look like a real bush actually but its hairy outercovering resembles that of the bush. This is used to make the Brumsbirk Potion, the potion to repel the senses of the Brumsbirk bush. If it can't feel you, then it won't be irritated easily and won't be gobbling you up. Sometimes this bush doesn't live to be very big, since some wizards do maintain the growth of these creatures. It can grow to be the size of one and three fourths of a broomstick but when maintained carefully. It is killed using the Brumsbirk Potion to take its senses away and by cutting the thick stalk. It is then helpless after that. Most Burmsbirk bushes grow only up to the size of half a broomstick and then are killed and used to make, what else? Brumsbirk Potion. Actually Brumsbirk bush leaves can be used as healing remedies and it's juice is said to taste as sweet as honey. A few drops may make you drunk though, so you must be careful. Anyways, enough of that, here is how you make Brumsbirk Potion. First you gather the stalk and cut it in equal strips.."

Harry was feeling a little bittersweet lately. He did feel bliss ever since Hermione agreed to tutor him, which was moments ago, but still felt sad that what's between them is still isn't settled. He still can't help but think of that answer Hermione gave her. _Yes, but not with you. What does it mean? That there was someone else? All along there was someone else?_ Of course he couldn't ask her because she would just not talk to him once more and hate him again. But he can't help it. This tutoring was useless because he just wasn't able to do what he needed to. 

As Hermione ended her one hour lecture, Harry smiled slightly as he saw Hermione beaming at her, after the accomplishment they have achieved. _Hermione truly thought this was just a normal session. How innocent of her. I can't believe she didn't suspect me of wanting to talk to her about last night._

_Thank heavens Harry didn't ask anything about last night! I almost died of nervousness._ Hermione told herself, smiling because she survived a peaceful lecture. 

Moving to the dungeons for the much awaited Potions, Professor Snape was waiting for them.

"Five points from Gryffindor for being late." Nobody tried to complain since it had been happening since Neville became late looking for Trevor. 

"I can't believe how the quiz would look like," Neville had whispered. 

"What is that Longbottom? There is no quiz! Five points from Gryffindor for passing around false news." Snape retorted.

"But Draco said…"Lavender started but stopped quickly as Snape stared at her eyes.

"Mr. Malfoy,aahh..I see. Ten points to Slytherin." The Gryffindors frowned especially Hermione. 

"Professor, he scattered the news, shouldn't he be the one to blame?" Hermione questioned.

"True, Ms. Granger, but then if you think about it, because of Mr. Malfoy's idea, you all read your books, a very good way to make you open them. My, my, my… I assume you read all of those. At least that book had sense now." The Gryffindors were so ticked off by the fact that they worked so hard for nothing and still get points deducted. There was just never enough points to deduct when Snape is in charge, especially to the Gryffindors.

After the treacherous Potions session, every Gryffindor was very happy and light. It is true that ending a rough day with Potions is rather unhappy, but the very second of the end of the classes just makes it all worthwhile. All of them are going to the Gryffindor House to change or rest, and for Hermione to do a bit of reading.

"Hermione?" 

The young girl turned around to see little innocent pools of emerald green staring at her. A wave of curiosity passed through her, and suddenly her heartbeat started to pace up.

"Hmm?" was all she could answer.

"Why do you feel so happy and normal after last night?"

A/N:I decided to end it here for a moment. I hope you do review and go back once in a while to see what Hermione's reply will be. I'm also thinking of REVEALING who the mystery guy is, the one Hermione is supposedly in love with. This was just a major crap cover hole. I just had to prolong the revelation of the guy incident. But I still hope you like it. Review if you do. I don't know, but maybe the best review will get to know the mystery guy earlier than the rest. You do have to give your email though. There! I propose a challenge! Whoever gives the best review will get to know the guy first! Say what you want to say: shower me with praises, tell me why you should know first include me in your fave list? Whatever. My sister gets to choose to avoid favoritism? She is nine years old. So there. I do hope that you DO review. The mystery guy is just so easy to know! I think I already typed his name somewhere around here….

So anyways, here are the first four reviewers of the fic. I would like to thank:

Kat- thanks a lot. Don't worry, it will NEVER in any way, shape or form be a Hermione/Snape fic. I also shudder at those. How on earth do people stand that kind of pairing? Well, I hope you like this one(if you do read it)

Shits and Giggles- Yep, Harry will realize that he was a total jerk! I hope he stands Herm's answer though. Thanks for reviewing.

DaNnY's GiRl- I can't tell who she's in love with and I haven't thought of the age yet, but maybe they are around sixteen. It's not too early to fall in love, but then again, maybe it depends on the people. She doesn't love Harry for certain reasons which will be later explained. Yes, Daniel is cute, though I'm not that fond of himdon't get me wrong, that just means that it's one less person you have to compete with for Daniel's heart! I'll try my best not to make it a Ron/Hr fic eyes glint

SleepieCareBear- Thanks for reviewing. I know this isn't as sad as Not Yet Forgotten which is why I'm changing the genre to drama. Angst rocks! I also don't know why I love them, maybe it's just an angst lover thing. Nice theory you have, close but not quite. Don't worry it won't be R/Hr fic..maybe…..

There thanks to all who reviewed, and I hope you review!!


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